Stephen H. Webb's "How Soccer is Ruining America: A Jeremiad" displays an enormous amount of satire throughout the article whose purpose is to criticize those who look down upon soccer and do not see it as a sport that enhances the lives of many, including not only children but adults as well. From the very beginning of the article the theme is apparent as he poses the question "what other game, to put it bluntly, is so boring to watch?" and compares the game of soccer to the much more boring activities of golf and bowling where the actions of the individuals are predictable whereas in soccer a countless number of unanticipated situations may arouse such as injuries, penalties, goals, etc.
Webb proceeds to list four satirical reasons as to why soccer is "ruining" America: the game only allows for the use of feet, the intimidation factor is lacking, is it not native to the United States, and that not many points are scored during the game. The author states that God gave humans opposable thumbs to distinguish themselves from animals and that hands are sacred because in the Bible, hands are viewed as sacred and are correlated with the help from God whereas feet are viewed as dirty unearthly things. However, a crucial part of every popular sport is centered around running and without that, sports would not have the excitement and anticipation that accompany the pleasures of watching such sports. His next point states that children need to be knocked down before they can be built back up, but in soccer the players are running all over the field and must keep pushing through the intensity no matter how tired they are, whereas baseball players sit or stand around for most of the game and only have short, infrequent burst of energy when needed that they must exert. The third point is that the sport is not native to the US, however the United States of America is compiled of a plethora of racial and cultural backgrounds, so to say that a "foreign sport" is ruining the nation is equivalent to stating that the borders must be closed because it ruins the nationalism of the country which is an absurd statement because a sport cannot determine its own popularity, only the people who popularize it take part in that, and just because a sport originated in another country does not mean that natives can weave the new activity into their culture and give it their own meaning. Lastly, the author states that soccer is a game for girls because it is not as physically demanding as football or baseball, even though it is a high contact sport, the players lose countless calories during it, and it is a constant fight to the finish as points scored are minimal due to the rigor of competition and the intensity and demands that the sport calls for.
To conclude the article, the rhetor states that parents are enrolling their kids to participate on soccer teams because they need to release energy that working parents do not want to deal with; however if the parents were really that busy and wanted to relax after a hard day of work, they would not be driving their child all over so they can be around more loudness and chaos as parents cheer on their children. Americans choose to place their children on soccer teams because it builds a sense of teamwork and enables a determination in kids and a commit to what they do, for soccer is no easy feat as players must continuously push harder even though they feel like giving up, just giving their teammates the advantage of possibly scoring a goal. To add to the irony, the author of the article is the father of three daughters who all participate in travel soccer teams, so obviously he does not agree with what he is saying at all because if he did, he would not have chosen to place his children on travel teams, let alone allow them to participate in a sport that he does not approve of. Also, he presents to the audience the situation that he as a parent was confronted with to sign a contract promising he would not embarrass the team or its members in any way which he had to neglect because of the fact that he reads books during the soccer games which "embarrasses (his) daughter to no end". The irony he presents is that not all sports parents are the typical aggressive image and that they can be normal every day Joes. The point of the article was to indirectly state the reasons as to why soccer is such a great sport for kids and to undermine the logic of those who oppose and disapprove of the sport.
Webb proceeds to list four satirical reasons as to why soccer is "ruining" America: the game only allows for the use of feet, the intimidation factor is lacking, is it not native to the United States, and that not many points are scored during the game. The author states that God gave humans opposable thumbs to distinguish themselves from animals and that hands are sacred because in the Bible, hands are viewed as sacred and are correlated with the help from God whereas feet are viewed as dirty unearthly things. However, a crucial part of every popular sport is centered around running and without that, sports would not have the excitement and anticipation that accompany the pleasures of watching such sports. His next point states that children need to be knocked down before they can be built back up, but in soccer the players are running all over the field and must keep pushing through the intensity no matter how tired they are, whereas baseball players sit or stand around for most of the game and only have short, infrequent burst of energy when needed that they must exert. The third point is that the sport is not native to the US, however the United States of America is compiled of a plethora of racial and cultural backgrounds, so to say that a "foreign sport" is ruining the nation is equivalent to stating that the borders must be closed because it ruins the nationalism of the country which is an absurd statement because a sport cannot determine its own popularity, only the people who popularize it take part in that, and just because a sport originated in another country does not mean that natives can weave the new activity into their culture and give it their own meaning. Lastly, the author states that soccer is a game for girls because it is not as physically demanding as football or baseball, even though it is a high contact sport, the players lose countless calories during it, and it is a constant fight to the finish as points scored are minimal due to the rigor of competition and the intensity and demands that the sport calls for.
To conclude the article, the rhetor states that parents are enrolling their kids to participate on soccer teams because they need to release energy that working parents do not want to deal with; however if the parents were really that busy and wanted to relax after a hard day of work, they would not be driving their child all over so they can be around more loudness and chaos as parents cheer on their children. Americans choose to place their children on soccer teams because it builds a sense of teamwork and enables a determination in kids and a commit to what they do, for soccer is no easy feat as players must continuously push harder even though they feel like giving up, just giving their teammates the advantage of possibly scoring a goal. To add to the irony, the author of the article is the father of three daughters who all participate in travel soccer teams, so obviously he does not agree with what he is saying at all because if he did, he would not have chosen to place his children on travel teams, let alone allow them to participate in a sport that he does not approve of. Also, he presents to the audience the situation that he as a parent was confronted with to sign a contract promising he would not embarrass the team or its members in any way which he had to neglect because of the fact that he reads books during the soccer games which "embarrasses (his) daughter to no end". The irony he presents is that not all sports parents are the typical aggressive image and that they can be normal every day Joes. The point of the article was to indirectly state the reasons as to why soccer is such a great sport for kids and to undermine the logic of those who oppose and disapprove of the sport.